What if I like having a man around, what if I like cooking and cleaning and looking after my home. Does that make me less of a woman?
Allow me to set the scene….
Here I was, at a Thanksgiving gathering just on my own. (You know those parties you go to and you only know a few people but you happen to still be by yourself and you are not so sure how you will go about socialising with the only other young adult in your midst).
Yes, I and this girl had been in the same room but didn’t speak to each other for at least 3hrs lol but something happened I think she spoke to me first which was very sweet of her. I am usually called a snob but in actual fact, I am not a snob, I just don’t like being the one to approach first.
We hit it off instantly and one thing leads to another, I think she asked me if I have read Chimanda’s book ‘Americanah’ I said ‘no’ and then it lead to feminism. I told her I didn’t like Chimanda’s idea of feminism and I believe a lot of women follow her blindly without fully understanding the concept of feminism.
After much discussion, I was able to get this young lady to admit that her idea of feminism is not the extreme but just the fundamental basics of how women should be treated.
In my opinion, Feminism has a different dimension and can in itself be a religion.
Yes I get irritated by the the large misuse of the word and the very devote feminist.
If you truly believe in feminism then in your marriage you and your husband should be ready to split the bills equally whether or not you both make the same amount of money.
Many women are quick to claim ‘feminist’ however, take them on a date and they expect the man to pay the bills.
Feminism in its entirety goes beyond that, it’s much deeper but yet we have women who just classify themselves as feminist and their ideas are all different.
Then you have those who judge you if you are the type of woman who enjoys having a macho man around, who loves to cook, clean, respect her husband, look after her family and the stereotypically women duties.
Chimanda is speaking in a context, foreign to the dynamic African society which is much different from that of the Western world. A society where women were once very valuable and a woman was the pride of the home. Although, from a western perspective, the woman is seen as enslaved but in actual fact, WOMEN carry great power.
The ability to function in all the roles that is now so despise is one of the many great task that a woman will face in her life.
Do not get me wrong, I am not here for disrespecting women, unequal pay, women not being able to voice their opinions! and all the added bits and bob.
However, I do believe in each and everyone has a role. In an organisation, you have the CEO and the manager. There has to be a head and a team member so the company can achieve its goals and purpose.
Nature in itself shows us the importance of order and each key element of life playing a role to give us life as we know it.
Same thing in marriage, being a submissive wife doesn’t make you stupid neither does a man who loves, protect and provides for his wife make him a weak man.
The fundamental issue is we humans have redefined Marriage and the purpose of marriage. Now marriage in this day and age is more like a business venture. What can you offer me and what can I offer you. “Our goals in life are different but we will marry each other and do our own thing.”
Look at this example
Marriage is two entities becoming one, so can you imagine your leg saying to your head ‘bro how come you get to be up there and I down here’ or your hands saying ‘eyes for today I am taking over the vision, you can take a break’
No right, the whole body works together but they all play different roles so as to accomplish the desires of the entity that possesses that body. The same it is for husband and wife in a marriage institute. It doesn’t mean one person is irrelevant or is silent.
The quicker a man GRASP this understanding the better the society will become.
TBC in a future blog…….
Leave a comment to let us know what your thoughts are on this topic.